"Be yourself. No one can ever tell you, you're doing it wrong*."

I was recently accused of being mean. It has bothered me profusely because of the fact that I, like most people, don't actively go around being unpleasant to people. I'm the sort of person who is usually treated with suspicion (or get inadvertently leered at) because I smile when I make eye contact on the street. I try to perform random acts of kindness by way of offering to help mums with prams at train stations / give my seat up for oldies / hold doors open for people / say thank you to bus drivers.

(On a side note, I suspect that this perceived meanness that's been aimed at me stemmed from a misinterpreted text. Am I mean to have not bothered to correct the accuser on the grounds of stubbornness to correct something that has descended into name-calling?)

I'm now actually a little paranoid that my injuries of late have been bad karma because of me being a horrible person so I'm trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and am aiming to see the best in people.


For example, the crabby lady with a really bad attitude that I encountered yesterday; perhaps she was having a really bad day and couldn't summon to will to be pleasant to anyone. 

Or my Future Mother-In-Law's repetitive strains of "BABIES BABIES BABIES BABIES NOW NOW NOW NOW NOOOOOW" could be construed in a positive light by the fact that she seems to approve of me enough to bear her grandchildren. 

Sometimes people just have a natural inclination to jump to conclusions or to make snap-judgements on people they barely know? 



It's a dangerous thing to take (often-times flippant) things that people say and do too personally. Sometimes people are just in a bad mood. Sometimes one's actions provoke unpleasant memories of similar past occurances. Sometimes people get overly enthusiastic with their views on certain subjects that can come off in an unintentionally annoying way. 


But you know, don't be a pushover and make excuses for people who are actually just horrible.

*Quote from James Leo Herlihy.
 

Because I'm In A BAAAAAAD Place

Job hunting is as soul-crushing as ever and I'm only just realising that I have a dangerous urge to comfort eat to the levels of Fat Monica. I have such a massive urge to demolish half a dozen hotdogs followed by a proper Cream Tea (TWO scones, CLOTTED cream, STRAWBERRY jam and a cuppa tea) and a Peanut Butter Milkshake....


So in acknowledgement of something nice that I read recently, I should therefore think of the things in life that I can be thankful for. And that in turn should put things in perspective.


I would like to say I'm thankful for my health, but considering I twisted my ankle on my afternoon run yesterday and also managed to slice my finger on an opened tin lid earlier - that'd probably be a bit of a stretch.


Ok...
Ok...
Think...

1. I'm thankful that I have Coco. She is the only being in my life who I can count on to stay exactly the same, no matter what. She is predictable and I love her for it.
2. I'm thankful that I have a beautiful home with my Male (bearing in mind that most people our age are renting or living at home...so I'm eternally thankful that we managed to get on with home-making)
3. I'm thankful that the weather has been so sunny and warm, that it's helped my balcony garden to bloom. I'm LOVING my little outdoor area and am hoping that my tomato plant transplant has been successful and that I'll have a bounty of them through summer.

Done.


The fact that I'm finding it hard to think of things to be thankful for is kind of indicative of just how loud this pity party is.  


Will try again another day!